Is Charisma Innate Or Learned?

by John La Valle MBA

Looking around at the many people in public who are said to have 'charisma' had me ask a question since so many of them have family members in public, as well. My question: Is Charisma a born trait, or learned? And while I'm sure much is written about charisma, how do people identify it, anyway?
 
Asking people this question through the years has gotten me various responses. And while charisma in itself may be difficult to define, it's not difficult to discern.
 
While some of it comes through reputation, the test is almost always live and in person because of it's effects. And while reputation can certainly affect perception, what about the people that meet the individual for the first time? And in what type of environment? Under what circumstances? Is charisma something someone can just turn on and off? Or is it something that is apparent at all times, in all situations, in all environments?
 
Some of the responses I've gotten to my question, "How do people identify charisma?" have included: "They just resonate with me, with the group," "It's in their voice," "It's the way they stand, the way they move," "They're so energetic," "They just know how to connect with people," and a host of others. Based on my experience, all of these are true, and then some.
 
So is it innate or learned? It is learned, and that could be from many sources including the environment, early modeling of those around us, later modeling of others, and up to and including, just plain going to a really powerful seminar and learning to be charismatic!
 
Resonating implies some auditory (and even kinesthetic) influence, most likely an analogical influence, although using words and language that appeal to the audience is certainly a plus. One of the components of voice is the resonance of it, and how that can affect the listeners. Speakers can learn to resonate their voice to where it literally bathes the listeners with wonderful wave tones. There is also the component of "timing" that has a certain auditory appeal and influence.
 
While the visual components would include the way one stands, moves, etc, there is a certain timing in the movements that would have a "different" visual appeal. There is a certain deliberation in movement that has appeal, as well. There is a distinction, too, in knowing when the movements need to be congruent, or incongruent, or symmetrical or asymmetrical.
 
And what about that "connecting with people", as in kinesthetic, component?  Is that relating to what many people would relay or rely on, as in kinesthetic? Is there, in fact, an "energy" that looms and spreads throughout the room or environment? Sure there is!
 
Yet, it isn't any one of these that makes someone charismatic. It begins with a combination of all of them, and then progresses to knowing which to use at what level and when. My experience is that there are so many subtle, yet very powerful skills one can use, and so many different combinations of those, that each and every person I've ever met who I would say has "Charisma" is so very different from the rest. Each and every one of them is their own person, that is the sum total of their own combination of those skills available.
 
I once met Mohammed Ali in person. It was many years ago in my early 20's. I had already been around quite a few people in show business who had "charisma" and so not easily influenced by celebrities. But this experience with Mohammed Ali was different, it was special, it was...indescribable, at least at that time. I had the sense that I was in the presence of someone so very different from others. And since then, I've experienced a few others in a somewhat similar fashion, even though each is very different from everyone else. Most people know I train with Richard Bandler, whose charisma needs no description. Those who have been able to get that personal, close-up experience with him will describe it as...like no other.
 
Of all the responses I've gotten from people about how they identify Charisma, the one I've gotten the most is something akin to: "There's a certain aura about them." So many people work so hard at trying to "see" others' auras or even projecting their own, that I believe the people who are successful at it don't work hard at it. Working too hard comes across as wanting it too badly, wanting to be like others, or like someone else.
 
And having such an "aura about them" is that combination of keys that allows one to open a special doorway when they are comfortable with who they are, and what they can do, and what they cannot do. Along with specific skills, this sets the combination that is just right for them. And others sense it in all modalities and just think, "Wow!". This comfortableness is a genuine comfortableness, not one that can be manufactured or made up, as the delivery of oneself to others in a charismatic way can only be genuine because it uses all the beliefs, attitudes, behaviors that make up the individual. It goes beyond congruence. Congruence is where words and behavior match. When someone truly has that Charisma, nothing else really matters because it's all there, anyway.
 
And as long as beliefs, attitudes and behaviours are learned, so is Charisma. Learn well, not just to know Charisma, but yourself.

John La Valle
© 2006

Author: John La Valle MBA - President of the Society of NLP - is one of the world's most respected corporate business consultants and the co-author of 'Persuasion Engineering' with Richard Bandler. A highly renowned trainer, John's work represents the very best in the field within the applications of NLP to business and the patterns of persuasion. Website: www.PureNLP.com