Lust At First Sight

by Peta Heskell

 

Next time you look across a crowded room and feel the 'boom boom' of your heart and the subtle signs of sexual arousal, and say to yourself 'He/She's the one', be very very wary. It's not 'love at first sight', but an ancient genetic program kicking into action. It doesn't matter if he's a potential wife beater or has latent schizoid tendencies or she's a terrible nag or wants to live in the country whilst you are a real townie. Your genes don't take personality into account. They are on a one track mission to get you to have sex and reproduce.

 

It all started with some rather interesting experiments on mice:

 

Minnie wasn't drawn to Mickey because he was a fun loving little ball of fur with good prospects and a loving nature, but because his genes were very different from hers. 

 

Scientific experiments have proved that, if your genes are different from his or hers, and he or she has a certain look, you'll be driven crazy with lust.

 

After experimenting with mice, they did some tests on humans with surprising results. They selected a number of women and men who had both similar and different genetic MHC genes (that stands for Major Histocompatibility Complex). MHC genes check out protein markers on cells and help the body recognize hostile organisms. This sets off the immune system.

If someone mates with a person whose MHC genes are different from theirs, the offspring will get a double dose of hostile organism checkers.That means their kids will have a better chance at resisting disease.

 

The testers asked a number of men to wear brand new t-shirts for two days and nights, never taking it off. They were not allowed to use anything on their skins that had any kind of scent. They wanted them to get naturally whiffy. 

 

Women in the test were then given six t-shirts. Three of them were from men who had similar MHC genes and the other three from men whose MHC’s were very different from theirs.

 

The results showed that the women were more attracted to the scent of the guys who had different MHC genes from their own. The interesting thing is that women taking the birth control pill, which makes the body think it's pregnant, preferred the scent of men who had similar MHC genes to their own.  

 

Some scientists reckon that this is because a pregnant woman doesn't want to attract men to mate with during pregnancy, but are more drawn to men/women who are family members i.e. with similar gene-induced odours! This has something to do with protection and care for the family.

 

This research suggests that attraction isn't just some unexplained 'love at first sight' thing, but rather the immune system doing what's best for the future progeny - going for a guy or girl whose genes combined with his or her own will give their kids a stronger immune system.

 

Of course in humans it's not just a matter of whether he or she smells right, because there are other factors that determine whom we fancy or not.   

 

Have you noticed how some couples look like each other? Think about this. Most of us hold a physical attraction template based on the features of our opposite sex parent. If we look like the opposite sex parent, then chances are we'll end up with a mate who looks like us.

 

If we look like the same sex parent but very dissimilar to our opposite sex parent, and we're attracted to someone who looks like our opposite sex parent that person may look quite different from us!  So nature has provided us with a simple formula for attraction. He or she's gotta smell 'right' and have some of the features of our mum or dad. 

 

Now that's all well and good for primitive beings who don't care about personality traits or social status. These things are important to evolved human beings. That's where the problems start. 

 

Those whiffy genes are pretty powerful and combined with the 'attraction template' they are going to kick off a huge surge of 'lust hormones'. Our body produces these hormones to make us want to have sex. This is determined by the programming in our DNA that says 'REPRODUCE'.

 

The 'lust hormones' are so strong that they often override every ounce of common sense. While our bodies are overflowing with desire, our brains are unable to make rational decisions. That's why it's called love sickness!

 

So when those long term couples who claim to have fallen in love at first sight claim 'I just knew', they didn't. Their genes knew they'd make strong kids with that person and they'd been programmed to fancy the way that person looks. It's pure chance that on top of the genetic and physical compatibility, they also have matched personalities.

 

And of course we NEVER hear about those couples who had a gene and looks match but didn't quite work out so we assume that there is a magical syndrome that we call 'love at first sight'.  

 

Next time you're irresistibly drawn to someone, tell yourself to wait at least two years before making any major decisions. It can take anything from up to six months to two years or more the lust hormones to die down and the pink clouds of 'perfection' to fade away.   

 

Give your brain an opportunity to check out all the stuff that we should be aware of before committing ourselves to marriage, buying a home or worse still, making babies.

 

Peta Heskell

© 2007 

 

Author: Peta Heskell is the author of several top selling self improvement books and a highly acclaimed 'Flirt Coach', teaching others the skills of flirting and enhancing their sexual energy. She regularly delivers keynote speeches to a variety of audiences and holds her popular live flirting programs in the UK and overseas. Peta is also a member of the board of advisors for the Academy of Marriage, Sex & Relationships. Website: www.AttractionAcademy.com